Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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