need another drink. this is the easiest way
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
