After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
