Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
