He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
