the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
