I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Congratulations! We have a period
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