why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
