they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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