Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
