You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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