Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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