i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
