I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
