Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
