Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just want nice things and good sex
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
