all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
