Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
