There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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