On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
