I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
