Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
