How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
