Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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