i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he shaved USA in his pubs
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
