Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
