apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
