I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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