does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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