you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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