Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
