The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
