whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
