you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
