sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You took a bar mat shot.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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