I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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