WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
