Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
