Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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