this beer tastes like vomit already
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
