I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
