Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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