Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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