we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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