Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Found your dick twin last night
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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