I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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