where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
