escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
