Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
