My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
