i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
