There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
