'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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