That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
