but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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