Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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