I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
