Sponge bath it is.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
